How Can I Say I'm Sorry
by Valarie
Summary: When Tyler leaves to visit his grandparents Val does something that may destroy their relationship forever. Can Tyler find it in his heart to forgive her? Or is the damage permanently done? This story is by Val and Makatibird.


"Disclaimer" We own nothing... so don't sue. This is a story me and MakatiBird dreamed   
up, and that she typed down but the ideas are ours and ours alone. Shows you what   
happens when people get too bored.  
  
Chapter One  
  
The Mistake of Loneliness  
  
.  
  
"Do you have any idea how much I'm going to miss you?" Val asked him with a pout. She   
wrapped her boyfriend in a tight hug.  
  
"A little bit less then I'm going to miss you?" Tyler guessed, bending down to kiss her softly   
on the lips. The young couple was in Kingsport International Airport, reluctantly saying their   
goodbyes before he had to leave for San Francisco for a week to visit his grandparents. All of them   
had come to see him off, Val, Jamie, Caitie, Hank, Brooke, and oddly enough, Alex. Though he   
claimed that the only reason that he was sad to see Tyler go was because with Tyler gone he'd have   
even more work to do.  
  
"More." She murmured, resting her head in his shoulder. Tyler sighed. It wasn't as if he   
wanted to leave her. That was the last thing he ever wanted to do, especially since their   
relationship was less then a month old, but this trip to his grandparents' was tradition, and   
they would be crushed if he cancelled on them. When she finally allowed herself to pull away   
from him, he turned to Hank.  
  
"I'll see you Beecham." Tyler said casually, "Take care of Val for me." He felt a sharp   
smack on his shoulder,  
  
"Tyler Connell! I don't NEED to be taken care of, and you know it!" Val snapped, hands   
on her hips.  
  
"Huh? Oh, yeah, I know Val, I was just-"  
  
"There's no way you're getting out of this one Tyler. You've just hit her feminism button."   
Caitie said smugly.  
  
"Tell me again why you came today?" he asked, slightly annoyed.  
  
"Because after you leave I'm going to show Val how great life can be without a boyfriend."   
She shot back, though it was understood by everyone that she was joking.  
  
"Yeah! We're going to take her partying like she's still single!" Jamie hooted, earning himself   
a warning glare from Tyler.  
  
"Who me? Party? Where would you get that idea Jamie?" she said, so innocently that they   
could almost see the halo floating over her head. "Pick me up at eight." She added, with a playful   
grin.  
  
"Well, don't let something as minor as me leaving the time zone interrupt your fun." He said   
sarcastically.  
  
"Tyler, relax. I'll be too busy doing all the extra work that you've left us to do anything   
remotely fun."  
  
"Oh, and the fact that you'll miss me has nothing to do with it?" he said, the smile returning to  
his face.   
  
"Nope, nothing at all." She replied. Tyler grinned and leaned in for another kiss.  
  
"Ugh, geez I think I'm-" Caitie started  
  
"gonna be sick." Jamie finished for her.  
  
"Flight 11 is departing at gate C11 in 11 minutes. We will begin boarding first class seats   
1-5 now." The overhead voice droned. Val recognized Tyler's flight, and glanced at the ticket in his   
hand. His seat was in first class, row 9. She nervously bit her fingernail.  
  
"I don't want you to go yet." She whimpered, returning to the mood she was in earlier.   
  
"But I have to Val, I thought we went over this, I have to visit my grandparents, they only   
see me once week a year." He said desperately.  
  
"It's just not fair that it has to be the week of our anniversary."  
  
"I know Val, but I swear I'll make it up to you." She nodded, turning away so that he   
couldn't see the tears running down her cheeks.  
  
"You're going to call me right? As soon as you get there?" she asked quietly. Val was   
petrified of air travel, and the fact that Tyler would be flying cross-country in more than a ton of steel   
did nothing for her nerves.  
  
"First thing I'll do after setting foot on California soil." He promised, giving her hand a little   
squeeze.  
  
"Boarding all first class passengers rows 5-12." The intercom announced.  
  
"Well, that's me." He said giving her a quick kiss on the forehead. "I'll see you all soon!" he   
yelled, already walking towards the gate.  
  
"Bye Tyler!"/ "Have a good time!" they all called at once. Val's was a little different.  
  
"I love you Tyler!" she cried, causing him to stop and turn.  
  
"I love you too Val." He shouted through the noise of the crowd waiting at the gate. Then he   
turned and walked through the door. Val waited a few moments, before running tearfully out of the   
airport. Only Hank followed her, because the others knew what kind of mood she was in, and didn't   
think she'd appreciate being mobbed.  
  
"Well, that was traumatic." Jamie muttered, "You'd think he was moving away, with the fuss   
they made." Caitie gave a dramatic sigh  
  
"Jamie, you're just about as romantic as a foot rash."  
  
"Hey! I can be just as romantic as Mr. 'I love you.' Over there." He said.  
  
"Oh yeah? PROVE IT. The day I see any romance from you is-" she was cut off by his lips   
as he kissed her, and she was so surprised that she stumbled backwards into the ticket counter.   
"Um, whoa." She gasped as soon as their lips parted.  
  
"Well?' Jamie asked nervously, the redness o his face contrasting with his dark hair." She   
smiled,  
  
"Yeah, you're romantic." Was all that she could say.  
  
Hank found her leaning on her car, her head resting on the shiny metal as the tears streamed   
silently down her cheeks. "Hey, are you all right?" she shook her head miserably, unable to speak.   
"He'll be back in a week you know." He said, trying his best to comfort her.  
"It's weird, Hank, just- when we were just friends he could have gone away for a month and  
I wouldn't have been upset… NOW look at me!" she sniffled.  
  
"Yeah, I guess that's what happens when you care about someone… things like this hit you   
a lot harder." He replied quietly, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Tell you what, let's   
head back to the station, all right? You can sit out a couple of calls till you're ready to bounce back   
to your peppy, cheerleader self." She nodded, letting her tears dry as the smile returned to her lips.  
  
"You know, now I know why you and Tyler are such great friends. You guys are just so   
alike… you even know how to make me feel better when I'm down"  
  
Hank and Val walked back into the station, five minutes late for their shift. Alex was about thew them out for their tardiness, but he knew that it was probably caused by Tyler's absence, so hecided to let it slide. As they walked into the common room, Brooke and Jamie stared at them as if   
they'd sprouted second heads. "What! We're allowed to be late once." Hank snapped.   
  
"Did we miss any calls?" Val asked quietly, going over to sit down on the couch. Hank took   
a seat next to her.  
  
"Yeah, well, I've got your paperwork." Brooke said, after getting over the weirdness of   
seeing the two most responsible people she'd ever known stroll in late. "Hank, you've got your 6,   
and Tyler's 9. Val- well Val, Tyler actually offered to do yours, so that means, Hank, you've got   
another 4." Hank groaned.   
  
"Why exactly do I have to fulfill Tyler's dumb promises?" he grumbled. Brooke shrugged.  
  
"He said something about this being 'an early anniversary present' or something. I do hope   
he was joking. You'd better demand a better present Val- I'm thinking in the lines of   
jewelry." Hank grabbed the stack of papers from her hands, muttering something about   
"lousy friends" and "Sticking all the work with me." Just as he lifted his pen the alarm went   
off, causing them to jump up out of their seats. Alex ran into the room.  
  
"OK, guys you've got a minor crash at the airport." Val's heart froze.   
  
"M-minor crash?" she choked, "Did they say what flight that was? Where it was going?" she   
began to panic, "Has anyone heard from Tyler? Someone call his grandparents!" she was sobbing   
hysterically.  
  
"Val, calm down, it was an arriving flight, not Tyler's." Hank said, but she didn't stop crying.   
He and Alex exchanged worried glances. "Alex, maybe she should sit this one out, I mean…"  
  
"No Hank, I-I'm fine. See, smiling?" she gave them a pain filled smile through her tears. Alex   
shook his head.  
  
"Nice try Val, you stick around here, maybe help out with Hank's paperwork, Hank and   
Jamie can take the two alternates."  
  
"But Alex! That's special treatment!" she protested.  
  
"No Val, it's for the good of the squad." He replied, walking out of the room. The   
conversation was over, whether she thought it fair or not. She angrily grabbed the paperwork from   
the desk where Hank had been seated. Why was she so spastic all of a sudden? This wasn't her, at   
least, not who she thought she was. She usually was calm, and rational, and positive… until today.   
  
"It's just one WEEK Val!" she scolded herself. "What the heck is the matter with you?" she   
sighed and looked at the paperwork laying on the counter, willing herself to thing about anything in   
the world except Tyler Patrick Connell.  
  
Val arrived home from her shift at 11 PM, tired, grouchy, and still missing Tyler. The   
rest of the night had gone considerably better, with only one or two minor calls, which Alex had   
finally let her participate in. She threw herself down onto her bed, and had every intention of falling   
asleep right then, still wearing her uniform, when the phone rang, causing her to sit straight up on her   
bed and make a bee line for the light blue cordless that sat on her dresser. Val Lanier was never one   
to miss a phone call.  
  
"Hello?" she answered, trying to mask the fatigue in her voice.  
  
"Hey Val, you certainly sound tired enough." Tyler's equally weary voice responded. Val   
had just enough energy to let out a happy squeal.  
  
"Hi Tyler!" she said as perkily as she could, but as soon as she opened her mouth to ask   
how his trip was she let out an audible yawn.  
  
"I bet I'm calling a little late, huh? Sorry about that, but I promised to call as soon as I got   
here, so here I am."  
  
"Yeah… here you are…" she murmured sleepily, her eyelids drooping. "I miss you Tyler."  
  
"I miss you too Val… in fact, I already can't wait till Saturday when I'll get to see you   
again."   
  
"Thank you for your early anniversary gift." She laughed, "Though I don't think Hank liked it   
very much."  
  
"Yeah, I'll have to do a lot of ambulance washing to make up for that one… lets see, how   
much of my work did he do?"  
  
"You're nine plus my four makes 13, so you have 13 ambulances to wash when you get   
back." He groaned  
  
"13!? How can I wash 13? We only have two!"  
  
"Well, wash one 6 times and wash the other one 7." She suggested, "You know I'm going   
to help you anyways."  
  
"Yeah, that'll make things go by faster… anyways, I'm going to let you sleep now, ok? You   
sound beyond tired."  
  
"That's cause I am… night Tyler."  
  
"All right, Night Val."  
"Love you, don't have too much fun without me."  
  
"Fun without you? Not possible. Well, I'll call you again soon. Love you too, ok? Bye!"   
she hung up the phone, her dark mood lifted instantly. She skipped to the bathroom to brush her   
teeth and wash her face, suddenly not as tired as she'd been a couple of minutes ago.   
  
Three days later…  
  
Val was miserable. It had been three days. Three days since he'd left, and he hadn't called   
her since the night he'd arrived. She knew that she should act like the considerate little girlfriend and   
be happy that he was probably having so much fun, but damn it, it was their anniversary, and she just   
didn't feel like being happy. She stared at the phone, mentally willing it to ring, and to her surprise, it   
did! She jumped up and frantically hit the talk button. "Hello?" she said as calmly as she could. To   
her dismay, it wasn't his voice that answered, but a female's  
  
"Hey Val, what's up?"  
  
"Oh, hi Caitie, just sitting by the phone like an idiot waiting for Tyler to call." She said, not   
masking the disappointment in her voice.  
  
"Val, that guy is major baggage, ok? It's been what, 3 days? And he still hasn't called? Take   
my advice Lanier, dump him and find someone, I don't know, human?"  
  
"Caitie, did you call to criticize my boyfriend again, or was there a specific reason?"   
  
"Whoa Val, calm down, I'm not Tyler, don't take your anger out here." Val sighed,  
  
"I know Caitie, I'm sorry, it's just, he missed our anniversary! How could he do that!?  
  
"Hey, you know my opinion of him, so I'm not going to say it again. Anyway… on to lighter   
subjects. Guess what I'm doing tonight!" Val was confused by the excitement in Caitie's voice, it   
made her sound like, well, Val.  
  
"Lemme guess, you and Jamie are going for a romantic motorcycle ride and then out for   
dinner?"  
  
"Whoa, Val, how did you DO that!"  
  
"It comes with the overachiever package- we're jocks, EMTs and telepaths." Val laughed.   
"No, actually, Jamie was so excited that he came bouncing into the station today to tell us! So when   
did he ask you out? Not to be smug, but I told you so."  
  
"He was so cute! He just randomly shows up at my door with this handful of my neighbor's   
daffodils and asks me out!" Val had to smile at the excitement in her voice.   
  
"Sounds like something Tyler would do." She said quietly, turning depressed again. "Hey   
Caitie, I'm really happy for you guys, but I've got to go."  
  
"All right Val, just don't waste the evening moping over him, ok? You've got better things to   
do. Think poetry, angsty poetry."  
  
"You have fun ok? Try not to destroy the town between the both of you. Call me tonight to   
give me all the gory details?"  
  
"What else would you expect of me? Call you later Val."  
  
"Yeah, talk to you later." Val put the phone down with a click. Caitie was right, she couldn'aste her evening in the house, sitting, waiting for a phone call that probably wouldn't come. She   
grabbed her coat.  
  
"Brooke! I'm going out! If anyone calls just tell them that I'm not home." She yelled as she   
walked out the door. She didn't really know where she was headed to; she just needed to be out.   
She wandered aimlessly up the familiar streets till she found herself standing in front of Hank's house.   
She walked up the flagstone pathway and rang the bell.  
  
"Hold on!" she heard him call from somewhere inside, so she sat on the porch chairs to wait.   
Hank was in the kitchen, making him self a sandwich for dinner. His parents were out at a doctor's   
dinner somewhere in town, so he was stuck home alone, with no money for a pizza. Running to the   
front door, he looked through the peephole to see Val, obviously upset. "Hey Val, come on in. " he   
greeted "What's the matter? You don't look to great."   
  
"He hasn't called Hank! It's our freaking anniversary, and he hasn't called!" she cried,   
entering the living room and collapsing on the sofa. Taken aback by this sudden display of emotion.   
He mutely followed her and took a seat next to her on the couch. "Why wouldn't he call Hank? I   
didn't really expect him to call every hour of every day, but at least one call on our anniversary   
would be nice!"  
  
"Well, umm, I don't know Val. I mean, it's a huge time difference between here and   
California, and his grandfather does like to keep him busy… maybe it just, slipped his mind?" he   
offered. She looked at him sadly, and Hank felt a pang in his chest.  
  
"'Slipped his mind?' We've been together a month TODAY! How could it 'slip his mind'!"   
she burst into another fit of sobs, and Hank had no idea what he could say to make her feel better.   
Instinctively, he let his arms wrap around her in a comforting embrace. Val stopped. "Hank, what'oing on?" she asked, looking into his face curiously.   
  
"I have no idea." He whispered, and before he had time to think he was leaning in, letting his   
lips fall on hers. She was shocked, of course, but it wore off in a moment and she found herself   
kissing him back. Slowly they allowed their lips to part, and Val realized what she had done.  
  
"Oh my God." She gasped, jumping up from the couch and backing away from him. Hank   
stood up quickly.  
  
"Val, I'm sorry, I just-." She grabber he coat off of the counter, where she placed it when   
she arrived.  
  
"I-I can't, I have to go Hank." She stammered, walking quickly towards the unlocked door.  
  
"Wait! Val!" he called, causing her to stop and turn. "Val, we have to talk. Please, come   
back here!" reluctantly she walked back to the living room. "I-I'm sorry Val I know, I know it was   
wrong to kiss you. I know that all we can ever be is friends. I know that you love Tyler… but I   
couldn't help it Val. I'm sorry, but I just- lost control."  
  
"Hank, do you know what we've just done? I've betrayed him Hank. He trusted me, trusted   
US. And we just…" she shook her head and began to cry again. Hank put his arms around her and   
let her bury her head in his chest as she sobbed. "Hank, what am I supposed to do?" she cried,   
"What if Tyler finds out? We can't just pretend nothing ever happened!" her sobs became louder,   
"I love him Hank! I just don't know what I'm doing anymore!"  
  
"I'm sorry Val, I didn't mean for this to happen, I swear- but Val," he gently lifted her chin   
and looked into her eyes, "Val, I-I think I'm in love with you." She dropped her gaze.   
  
"No, Hank, you don't love me, y-you can't!"  
  
"I do Val, I think I do." He said quietly. Val covered her ears.  
  
"Stop it Hank! Stop it! I don't need to here this! Not now." She screamed.  
  
"Shh, Val, shhh, you need to calm down. Everything is going to be all right." He soothed.  
  
"No! No it's NOT going to be all right!" she tore away from his grasp. "I'm a BAD,   
HORRIBLE person! I just kissed my boyfriends best friend!"  
  
"Val, listen to me, you're not horrible. You were upset that Tyler hasn't called, and you juseacted."  
  
"That's no excuse for what we've done Hank…" the phone rang just then, interrupting their   
thoughts. Hank picked it up.   
  
"H-hello?" he answered weakly.  
  
"Hey Beecham, you sound like crap tonight." His best friends voice greeted with a laugh.  
  
"T-Tyler?" he stammered. Val's eye grew wide. "Yeah, today was rough."  
  
"You sound nervous Hank, what's up? You getting enough rest? Look, I know that we have   
to be overachievers, but you gotta get a break once in a while."  
  
"Y-yeah I guess, we just hit a couple of snags over here." He replied. "Yeah, snags, more   
like setbacks, MAJOR setbacks." He thought bitterly, looking at Val, who now sat tearfully on the   
couch. "Anyway, how's the trip so far? Your grandfather doing well?" he asked, quickly changing   
the subject.  
  
"Yeah, he's great. We've been so busy lately; I haven't been able to even call home. We   
just arrived a couple of hours ago from visiting his beach house. I'm gonna have to bring Val out   
here sometime, you know how much she loves the ocean."  
  
"Yeah, she'd like that."  
  
"You're real talkative today."  
  
"Like I told you, tough day." Hank snapped.  
  
"Geez, all right, I'll get off your case. Anyway, do you have any idea where Val could be?"  
  
"V-Val? Nope, haven't seen her, why would you ask?" He answered a little too quickly.   
  
"Well, I've been calling her house, but Brooke says that she just headed off somewhere and   
she doesn't know when she'll be back. I've even called the station and Caitie's house… no one's   
seen her, and I'm kinda worried."  
  
"Tyler, you don't need to be worried about Val. She's fine." Val picked herself up from   
Hank's couch, and ran out the front door, letting it close with a slam that shook the house. "Wait!   
You can't leave!" Hank cried absent-mindedly.  
  
"What the heck was THAT?!" Tyler asked, alarmed. He's heard everything over the phone   
line. Hank sighed  
  
"Just the wind. Hey listen, Tyler, I think you should try Val's house again in like 5 minutes,   
I have a feeling that she'll be there."  
  
"You have a feeling?" Tyler questioned.  
  
"Yeah, I gotta go. See ya Saturday." Hank hung up the phone and let his body fall on to the   
sofa with a thump. "What a night." He muttered, trying to massage away the headache that was all   
ready beginning to form. He knew that what he'd done tonight was wrong, and he also knew that   
Val would probably never speak to him again, neither would Tyler, when he found out what had   
happened. Unfortunately, through all this neither him nor Val had bothered to think about what could   
have been going out right outside his home. They never even thought about the possibility of being   
seen. They were too wrapped up in the drama going on between them that they hadn't noticed Mel   
Chan, ace reporter for the Kingsport High Scarlet and Gold, snooping out side Hank's window,   
looking for something to add to her new gossip column. And now, armed with a roll full of   
incriminating pictures, she had the perfect topic for her next column entitled "Keeping the Faith, Is   
she devoted as she really seems?"   
  
A/N: We know how many of you out there want to kill us for this story... but before you trieve our names and hunt us down let me tell you that if you KEEEP reading, you might   
see that it doesn't end up that bad! Ok, we know that its pointless to not allow flames for is... so though we really don't want to see em, we won't disallow them either, but please,   
let your criticism be constructive, not just "THIS SUCKS! I HATE YOU!" Cause that   
really helps no one.  
  
MakatiBird: You all know how big a Tyler/Val fan I am, and you know that almost all my   
stories start out UC, so this is just my way about venting about the review intakes from   
ALHC. Come on, don't you want to see what happens in chapter 4? Read it and review it!   
  
Valerie: You all know that I'm a die heart fan of Tyler/Val also and that they should   
always be together in the end. Well were not tell if they will be or not you just got to trust   
us on that one J. I hope you like this so far and plz don't forget to review it and plz would   
you check out my web site and tell me what you think of it so far. Thanks love ya. 


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